This article was featured in my sorority's Spring 2007 Delta Gamma
Well Aware newsletter.
Click here to visit the Delta Gamma PRO
speaker site and here to view the article online.
The Tale of Two
By PRO Erica Upshaw, Epsilon-Ohio State
College. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. The topic brings my heart to a strange place, split between two contrasting emotions. One part excited and alive recalling my fondest memories, the other side aching and darkened from a tragedy that changed my life. Let’s take a little trip back in time and I will explain.
It was the year 2000 at The Ohio State University, and I was the girl who had it all. I was a sophomore in the elite DG house. I was adored by the cutest boy in the Greek system, a Delt two years my senior. I had just been accepted into the most prestigious honors program at the business school. To top it off, my three best girlfriends from childhood had just transferred to OSU. But the true foundation of my love for OSU lied within my older brother and best friend, Joey. The two of us had always been exceptionally close, a bond that led me in Joey’s footsteps to OSU in the first place. He was the one who introduced me to my Delt boyfriend and to my ‘big sis’ at DG, who were his best friend and girlfriend, respectively. At one point, I remember Joey worrying that I wouldn’t make any friends on my own. Come to think of it, I don’t think I went out a single night my freshman year without my big brother. You could say my life pretty much revolved around him. He was the sun. Until April 21, 2000...Joey died and the lights went out.
It would be an understatement to say that I changed the night Joey died from an accidental drug and alcohol overdose. More specifically, he died after ingesting a drug called GHB during a night of heavy drinking at his fraternity. Nothing could have prepared me for this magnitude of tragedy, and it still affects me everyday.
Erica Upshaw with her brother Joey, April 2000.
This was the last photo taken of the two of them together before Joey’s death.
I wish you could have met Joey, because the hardest thing for me to do is succinctly describe my older brother. He was charming, handsome, intelligent and so funny. Joey had a magnetic personality that won over everyone he knew. He had more friends than I can count, and he brought out the best qualities in all of them. In Joey’s presence, people liked themselves more. To me, that is simply amazing.
This April marks the seventh year that Joey has been gone, but I am proud to say that his spirit lives on in me. I have made it my goal to travel the country sharing my story, and I have already spoken to thousands of students. College students need to be reminded that a tragedy like this can happen to any one of us. It very well could have been me. Sadly, college culture fosters deadly drinking and drug habits in the name of partying. But the price is too high. Alcohol related incidents claim the lives of 1,700 college students each year. I don’t ask students to abstain from drinking, but I do stress the importance of control. I also ask them to hold each other accountable. I should have noticed Joey’s high-risk behavior, but unfortunately I couldn’t see his symptoms because I had plenty of my own. Had I been able to say something, I may have saved his life.
This next year will be huge for me. I was recently added to the Delta Gamma PRO speakers roster and I was accepted as a new voice for CAMPUSPEAK. Reaching out to others allows me to keep my brother’s memory alive and hopefully prevent other students from living my tragedy. Every time I walk out on stage, I feel Joey’s strength guiding me. I may have lost him seven years ago, but the two of us will make a difference for years to come. Here’s to you, Joey.
Erica Upshaw, a Delta Gamma PRO, was initiated at Epsilon chapter and graduated from The Ohio State University with a degree in Marketing in 2002. She is currently a photographer representative in New York City, but her true passion is speaking to young people about the dangers of drugs and alcohol.
